Going, going, gone!

Everyone watches as the auction proceeds

Well. You remember that urn Winston got in a job lot, and took to the museum and it turned out to be really old and valuable? Well, we’ve come to see it auctioned! Turns out Arnold has a job as security at the auction house.

The vaarks have gathered in a panelled room with a podium for an auction

The auctioneer has started. There are a few lots to go before the Urn so we’ll just sit and enjoy watching the auction.

The auctioneer stands behind a podium, marked “Vaarkebys”. He wears glasses and has a gavel and a phone.

The first lot is this Landscape, in pencils. The auctioneer opens the bidding at £1000!

The first lot, a picture goes on a plinth beside the auctioneer. Arnold stands guard.

“Are you bidding sir?” “No! Says Arnold, I’m just amazed at the value!”

Arnold’s ears fly up in surprise and the auctioneer looks at him

Ofelia suggests that Arnold wear his Easter bonnet to keep his ears under control, but he’s not sure it suits his working image. So Ernest fetches his motorbike helmet, which is more in keeping.

The landscape sold to a bidder at the back of the room. Next up, a… well, I think it’s a portrait. It’s a bit odd. Apparently it’s by a very famous painter though, and it sold for £10,000!

Ratvaark looks closely at a painting in a Picasso style with eyes, nose, mouth and ears all over the place

The next item is a very ancient cannon, recovered from a shipwreck. The auctioneer looks a bit worried being at the business end! Fury says she’d buy it, if only she had the money, but it’s too valuable for her.

Now, some sculpture. Peggy wants a closer look, but Gino doesn’t think it’s suitable for a lady! He can be a bit old fashioned.

Peggy looks at a sculpture of Michaelangelo’s David, but Gino puts his hand in front of her face. Gino’s nose neatly obscures David’s genitals.

Right now, it’s time for the urn. Winston is quite nervous now! The auctioneer describes it as a fine example of Early Greek Vaark era ceramic, embellished with heroic figures, in perfect condition.

Oh! The phone’s ringing, It’s a phone bidder from overseas. How exciting!

The auctioneer has picked up the phone handset and is listening.

It STARTS at £10,000! £20,000! £30,000 Oh my! Oh my! It just keeps going up! £500,000! Still going! £750,000! £1000,000! In the room. Is that it? Any more bids? Yes, the phone bidder is back! £1,250,000! All done? Going, Going… GONE! Down comes the gavel.

Everyone watches as the auction proceedsThe auctioneer brings the gavel down, still on the phone.

Oh heck. Winston’s fainted again. Ernest fetches the smelling salts, but he’s still out cold.

Winston has fainted flat on his back

Ernest tries to revive Winston with something from a dropper bottle

Fury says she’ll sort it. Not sure she ought to be throwing water round in here, but anyway…

Well, that woke him up. He whispers “Is it all a dream?” Ofelia brings him a cup of strong sweet tea and reassures him that it’s really happened. He’s a millionaire!

So while Arnold mops up the water, the auctioneer explains that the money, minus commission and fees of course, will be cleared in a few days. The urn has sold to a very important collection overseas.

Bernard says that if Winston wants any investment advice, he’d be happy to help. Winston says thank you, but he’s got a business plan he can finally go ahead with now!

Bernard talks to Winston

And so, back home, to celebrate an astonishing day. Winston’s still in a bit of a daze.

Er Nano, I wouldn’t sit there if I were… Oh!

“Wheeeeeee!” says Nano, “What fun!” What fun indeed!

Nano is flying through the air

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