The ‘vaarks would like to present their interpretation of the tale of…
Jack and the Beanstalk
Ladies and Gentlevaarks, girls and boys,
collect up your snacks, put away your toys…
For we have a story to make you all talk,
all about Jack and his giant beanstalk!
Here is our scene, a village quite small,
where Jack lives with his mother, his brother and all.
Here is our hero, Jack is his name.
For any adventure, he’s certainly game.
Here is his mother, a widow you see.
She likes nothing better than cake for her tea.
Here’s brother Simon, he’s simple some say.
But fetch his guitar and he’ll play all day.
The last in the family, though surely not least,
is Daisy the cow, a loveable beast.
The village is suffering, it’s really not good.
A beastly great giant is taking their food.
“Get rid of the giant”, the poor old King pleads,
“I’ll give my daughter to whoever succeeds.”
Now Jack is in love with the Princess so fair,
but get rid of the giant? It’s quite a big dare!
One day Jack and Simon are milking the cow.
It’s always quite tricky, but they manage somehow.
Then mother comes out, bearing bad news,
“We’ve no money left, and nothing to lose.”
“Now our only asset is Daisy the Cow.
Take her to market and cash her in now!”
Sell poor old Daisy? A very sad plan.
But Jack takes her off, to raise what he can.
On the way there, who should he meet?
A chap with a suitcase, at work in the street.
“Ahoy”, says the feller, “that’s a very fine cow.
If she’s for sale, I’ll buy her somehow.”
“I don’t have much money, I have to come clean.
But here, why not swap her for these magic beans?”
“Magic?”, says Jack, “These beans must be rare.
Owning such treasure, we’ll have no more cares!”
And so in a moment the deal it is struck.
And Jack heads off home, pleased with his luck.
When Ma spots him coming, she rushes to see.
“How many guineas are you bringing to me?”
“No guineas”, says Jack, “A much better break.
These beans that are magic, our fortune to make!”
“You stupid great lummox!”, his mother does shout,
“Those beans are worthless, I’ll throw them right out!”
“Now we’ll go to bed hungry, and tomorrow night too.
I’m quite sick with worry, don’t know what to do!”
Poor Jack goes to bed, his tummy a-rumbling
and listens to Mother and Simon a-grumbling.
But don’t worry about them, please don’t be sad.
The deal that he made, it wasn’t so bad.
It seems like a swindle, some beans for a cow.
But the beans ARE quite magic – at least, they are NOW!
Next morning when Jack wakes, the room is quite dark.
No hint of sunlight, not even a spark!
He goes to the window and what does he see?
Only a beanstalk, as tall as can be!
“My goodness!”, says mother, “It’s true to be fair
That stalk must reach up to the Giant’s Lair!”
Now Jack sees his chance, the princess to woo,
and off up he climbs, and his family too!
Onwards and upwards, till the castle is reached.
Quick, in we go, the defences are breached.
Well, everything here is quite oversized.
We’ll have a look round and take home a prize!
Look at this chicken, in legend it’s told –
the eggs that it lays are made of pure gold!
What’s Simon found? A harp of all things!
And this one is special, it beautifully sings!
And here’s all the treasure pinched from our King.
Our quest is complete, except for one thing…
But then a voice thunders from out of the dark.
“Fee-fie-foe-fum, I smell a vaark!”
The giant! Quick, run! Back to the gate
and all down the beanstalk before it’s too late!
And down at the bottom, quick grab the axe
and give that old beanstalk plenty of whacks!
Down falls the beanstalk, and with a great thud,
the giant has perished and everything’s good!
Now they have money, quick as a flash,
to buy back their Daisy, off they must dash.
The king keeps his promise, and Jack gets his mate.
And with the giant gone, they all celebrate!
So thank you for watching, here’s our curtain call.
We hope you enjoyed it, Good Night to you all!
Thank you for watching!