Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime

Matilda dressed as a fairy stand in front of the red curtains of the vaark theatre
The Good Fairy awaits to tell our tale.

The ‘vaarks would like to present their interpretation of the tale of…

Jack and the Beanstalk

Ladies and Gentlevaarks, girls and boys,

collect up your snacks, put away your toys…

Matilda as the good fairy in front of the curtains opens the show

For we have a story to make you all talk,

all about Jack and his giant beanstalk!

Matilda as the good fairy in front of the curtains announces the story

Here is our scene, a village quite small,

where Jack lives with his mother, his brother and all.

The cast are milling about on stage

Here is our hero, Jack is his name.

For any adventure, he’s certainly game.

Vincent stars as Jack, dressed in a simple brown jacket

Here is his mother, a widow you see.

She likes nothing better than cake for her tea.

Ratvaark is the mother, in a pink frock, a white pinny and a blonde wig

Here’s brother Simon, he’s simple some say.

But fetch his guitar and he’ll play all day.

Dim plays Simon, wearing a patched white smock

Dim plays his guitar

The last in the family, though surely not least,

is Daisy the cow, a loveable beast.

Jack leads a pantomime cow. Two vaark bottoms are visible beneath the costume

The village is suffering, it’s really not good.

A beastly great giant is taking their food.

Vincent and his Mother look upwards offstage

“Get rid of the giant”, the poor old King pleads,

“I’ll give my daughter to whoever succeeds.”

Bernard as the King offers Ofelia as his daughter to anyone who can kill the giant

Now Jack is in love with the Princess so fair,

but get rid of the giant? It’s quite a big dare!

Jack and the Princess look lovingly at each other

One day Jack and Simon are milking the cow.

It’s always quite tricky, but they manage somehow.

Simon holds the cow's halter as Jack lines up the milking stool and bucket

The cow looks at the bucket and stool which have been kicked over

Jack pulls on the halter rope as Simon tries to push the cow back to the stool

Jack recoils as the cow lowers her horns at him

Then mother comes out, bearing bad news,

“We’ve no money left, and nothing to lose.”

Mother appears to talk to Jack and Simon and Daisy the cow

“Now our only asset is Daisy the Cow.

Take her to market and cash her in now!”

Simon and Mother hug Daisy while Jack sadly holds her rope

Sell poor old Daisy? A very sad plan.

But Jack takes her off, to raise what he can.

Jack and Daisy both look sad as he leads her away

On the way there, who should he meet?

A chap with a suitcase, at work in the street.

Jack and Daisy meet a trader with a suitcase of watches, played by Winston

“Ahoy”, says the feller, “that’s a very fine cow.

If she’s for sale, I’ll buy her somehow.”

The trader looks appreciatively at Daisy the cow

“I don’t have much money, I have to come clean.

But here, why not swap her for these magic beans?”

The trader shows Jack and Daisy some beans

“Magic?”, says Jack, “These beans must be rare.

Owning such treasure, we’ll have no more cares!”

Jack looks closely at the beans

And so in a moment the deal it is struck.

And Jack heads off home, pleased with his luck.

The trader holds Daisy's rope as Jack leaves with the beans in his pocket

When Ma spots him coming, she rushes to see.

“How many guineas are you bringing to me?”

Mother greets Jack as he arrives home with the beans in his pocket

“No guineas”, says Jack, “A much better break.

These beans that are magic, our fortune to make!”

Mother looks at the beans on the ground as Jack explains

“You stupid great lummox!”, his mother does shout,

“Those beans are worthless, I’ll throw them right out!”

Jack looks shamefaced as Mother scatters the beans angrily and tells him off

“Now we’ll go to bed hungry, and tomorrow night too.

I’m quite sick with worry, don’t know what to do!”

Mother turns her back on Jack to go indoors

Poor Jack goes to bed, his tummy a-rumbling

and listens to Mother and Simon a-grumbling.

Jack lies on a bed as Simon and Mother look at empty plates in the background

But don’t worry about them, please don’t be sad.

The deal that he made, it wasn’t so bad.

The Good Fairy appears and looks at the beans

It seems like a swindle, some beans for a cow.

But the beans ARE quite magic – at least, they are NOW!

The Good Fairy waves her wand over the beans

The beans lie on the ground

A green crocheted shoot appears

The shoot gets taller and grows two leaves

The shoot grows even taller and grows two more leaves

The shoot grows out of the top of shot and grows two more leaves

Next morning when Jack wakes, the room is quite dark.

No hint of sunlight, not even a spark!

Jack is lying on his bed in a darkened room

He goes to the window and what does he see?

Only a beanstalk, as tall as can be!

At the window, Jack can see only dark green leaves

“My goodness!”, says mother, “It’s true to be fair

That stalk must reach up to the Giant’s Lair!”

Outside Jack, Mother and Simon look at the giant beanstalk

Now Jack sees his chance, the princess to woo,

and off up he climbs, and his family too!

With a hook on a rope and Simon pushing him from below, Jack starts to climb the beanstalk

Onwards and upwards, till the castle is reached.

Quick, in we go, the defences are breached.

At the top of the beanstalk, Jack, Mother and Simon are in a stone castle

Well, everything here is quite oversized.

We’ll have a look round and take home a prize!

Jack, Mother and Simon come across a huge mug of tea and a giant biscuit

Look at this chicken, in legend it’s told –

the eggs that it lays are made of pure gold!

Jack and Simon find a chicken and a golden egg. Mother nibbles the biscuit

What’s Simon found? A harp of all things!

And this one is special, it beautifully sings!

Simon and Jack look at a golden harp. Mother nibbles more of the biscuit

And here’s all the treasure pinched from our King.

Our quest is complete, except for one thing…

Jack, Mother and Simon look at piles of gold and silver chocolate coins

But then a voice thunders from out of the dark.

“Fee-fie-foe-fum, I smell a vaark!”

A huge pair of boots appears on the stage and Jack, Mother and Simon look at them in horror

The giant! Quick, run! Back to the gate

and all down the beanstalk before it’s too late!

Jack, Mother and Simon gather the money in bags and run back to the beanstalk

And down at the bottom, quick grab the axe

and give that old beanstalk plenty of whacks!

At the bottom of the beanstalk, Jack hits it with an axe

Down falls the beanstalk, and with a great thud,

the giant has perished and everything’s good!

The beanstalk falls into a tangle of yarn, and the giant boots lie at the base.

Now they have money, quick as a flash,

to buy back their Daisy, off they must dash.

Jack, Mother and Simon hand a gold coin over to the trader in exchange for Daisy

The king keeps his promise, and Jack gets his mate.

And with the giant gone, they all celebrate!

Jack and the Princess touch snozzles as the rest of the cast look on

So thank you for watching, here’s our curtain call.

We hope you enjoyed it, Good Night to you all!

The Good Fairy addresses the audience as the cast look on, including the tiny chicken sitting on a huge gold egg

The Good Fairy and Trader take a bow in front of the curtains

The King and Princess take a bow

Ernest and Arnold come out from under the cow costume to take a bow

Simon and Mother take a bow

Jack takes his bow

The whole cast take a bow

Thank you for watching!