Advaark 2020 Day 23: Making wood work.

Fury and Bernard are going to have a go at some woodwork today! They’ve got Fury’s tools, and a selection of timber.

Fury and Bernard have tools and sticks of timber and a sheet of wood

Bernard is eyeing up this sheet of timber, I wonder what he’ll make?

Bernard looks at the sheet of wood

Fury is getting busy sawing up some sticks, she’s clearly got a project in mind.

Fury is sawing a stick with a big saw.

There! Fury has made some rustic crates – ideal for storing vegetables in, or to make up as a hamper maybe.

Fury has a couple of simple wooden crates.

And Bernard… Gosh! That chest of drawers is amazing. We never knew you were so talented Bernard!

Bernard has made a polished mahogany chest of drawers

Advaark 2020 Day 15: Let it snow!

What are you doing today Bernard and Hypno? More paper!

Bernard and Hypno have a square of paper, a pencil and scissors

Bernard says, we fold the paper in half to make a triangle, and then fold that triangle into tree sections and trim the end to a round shape. Oh, I know! It’s snowflakes!

Bernard folds the square in half

Bernard and Hypno look at the triangle folded into three

Now, Hypno is going to draw some shapes to cut round. It’s tricky cutting, but the more intricate the design, the better the end result!

Hypno draws shapes on the folded triangle

hypno cuts out the drawn shape

Now, Bernard is going to unfold it, carefully. Don’t tear it!

Bernard unfolds the paper

Ta da! That is pretty! And look you can make all sorts of shapes. You could hang them up, or stick them to windows!

Bernard sticks his snozzle through the middle of the finished snowflake

Hypno and Bernard show off a selection of snowflakes

Just be careful to cut the right bits or you’ll end up with confetti!

Hypno looks at a pile of cut up little pieces of paper

Advaark 2020 Day 3: Cutting and sticking!

Ernest and Bernard are going to do a bit of decoupage, to make a fancy box. They’ve decided on a food theme, so they can use some supermarket catalogues!

Ernest and Bernard look at a stack of catalogues, a pot of glue, a brush and a plain cardboard box.

First of all, they look through for pictures they like. Ernest really likes mince pies, and Bernard is always keen on a bit of cheese.

Ernest looks at a page of mince pies

Bernard looks at a picture of a cheese board

They’ve decided on the best pictures, so Bernard is cutting them out. He doesn’t have to be too exact, as the bits will all overlap anyway.

Bernard cuts out a picture of a pavlova

Ernest is going to do the gluing, and it might get messy, so he’s put an apron on. We don’t want anyone needing a bath at this time of year!

Ernest holds the brush, and wears an apron

It’s dead simple. Ernest puts glue on the box, and Bernard sticks a picture on. Then Ernest puts more glue over the top to seal it.

Ernest spreads glue on one side of the box

Bernard sticks a picture of a pavlova onto the glued side

Now they just add more and more pictures, overlapping them so you can’t see any edges or any of the box. It’s looking very jolly!

Ernest and Bernard have stuck lots of images on the box

Bernard is just going to trim off any bits that stick out over the edge, and there! A lovely festive gift box!

Bernard uses scissors to trim the excess on the edges

Ernest and Bernard admire their box

There’s only one problem, says Ernest, with all those pictures, I’m feeling very hungry! Well, says Bernard, I think we’ve earned a little snack!

Ernest talks to Bernard

Ernest and Bernard share a chocolate coin

A Valuable Trip to the Museum!

Do you remember that old pot Bernard spotted on Winston’s stall at the fete, that he thought might be quite old? Well, he’s made an appointment with the curator at the Museum to check. They’ve come early to look round. Vincent’s tagged along too.

Winston, Bernard and Vincent stand outside an imposing door wirh Museum of Vaark History written over it

Winston’s wrapped the pot up to protect it. Bit of a struggle getting his trolley in up the steps though!

The three vaarks manhandle a shopping trolley with the urn wrapped in bubblewrap through the door

Wow. The first thing you see in the entrance is the huge Vaarkosaurus Rex. Imagine a time when these creatures roamed the earth. Millions of years ago. They went extinct when a meteorite wiped out all the primeval biscuits.

The vaarks look at the large vaark skeleton on a stand labelled Vaarkosaurus Rex

And to think, the Vaarkosaurs laid eggs! How colourful their nests must have been!

These fossils are even older – before the vaarkosaurs even! Vincent reckons they look like the sort of thing Matilda would sell on her crystal stall. Winston thinks they look like raisins.

the vaarks look at some shell and ammonite shaped beads

What’s this? Ah the Natural History section. All sorts of taxidermy. Vincent says the armadillo looks like Bernard’s stripes. And the elephant reminds them of Ernest. Even the seal is a little bit vaarkish, with it’s dumpy body.

the vaarks look at a selection of toy animals and a doll

But really, human beings are the oddest looking creatures!

the vaarks look up at a male dolls house doll.

Ah now, we’re onto the Vaarks Through the Ages Gallery. Here’s a prehistoric cave vaark. Dressed in fur and wool and feathers. Vincent thinks it’s amazing how they managed to do so much with just axes like that.

Oh! The Egyptian era now. The magnificent Tut-anh-vaark-mun sarcophagus. Awesome. And so much gold!

the vaarks look at a large blue and gold vaark shaped sarcophagus

The vaarks look at a pile of gold nuggets at the foot of the sarcophagus

Bernard explained that the mummies kept their organs in jars like this. Vincent said he’d seen Dim playing the organ and it would never fit in there.

Vincent and Bernard look at a big jar next to the sarcophagus

Winston was surprised by the Sphinx. He’d always thought it would be bigger.

Winston peers at a tiny model of the Sphinx

What next? Ah, yes, the Romans. A fine recreation of a Centurion. Vincent likes the shield, even if he could barely see over it.

the vaarks look at a mannequin in centurion helmet and cap with a curved shield

Winston wondered if they’d run out of them little stones for the mosaic? But Bernard explained that it’s very old, and it’s got damaged over the years, probably by drains and such like.

the vaarks look at a mosaic, which has chunks missing, depicting a vaark with a sea serpent tail,

Here is a depiction of Christopher Columvaark. He discovered America, and therefore cookies, by accident. He was trying to find a new route to China by going the wrong way. What luck!

The vaarks look at a mannequin in a doublet and medieval hat, which is looking at a globe

Next, a Victorian crinoline. The chaps looked at it, and agreed it was a frock, and moved on.

the vaarks look at a mannequin in a crinoline dress

Ooh, more up to date vaark fashion and culture now. Vincent said it reminded him of Fury, Winston asked Bernard if he’d ever been a punk…

the vaarks look at a mannequin in a studded and zipped leather jacket. It has a mohican hairstyle and a safety pin through its nose

“God lord no, what makes you think that!”

winston and vincent look at bernard whose normally neat crest is raised up in spikes

The last ‘costume’ exhibit is the famous space suit, in which Ratvaark did his space walk. Winston pondered what happened if you flicked the switch. Bernard moved him on swiftly.

What’s next? The Ceramics gallery. Vincent likes this big jug. Careful not to jog the stand Vincent!

the jug starts to topple


Phew! Well caught. Move on quickly!

Bernard and vincent catch the jug between them

all three vaarks leave quickly


This exhibit reminds Winston of his suitcase stock. Bernard remarked that it’s because they are all telling different times…. Talking of time, it’s time to go to the appointment with the curator…

Winston and Vincent reckon the chairs in the waiting area are quite grand – but Bernard tells them to get off the Charles Rennie Vaarkintosh exhibit!

winston and vincent sit on two of three chairs, which are all designs by rennie mackintosh

Ah, and here’s the Curator. He says his name is Henry, and they should bring the urn into his office.

the vaarks are met by the museum creator vaark

Henry looks over the urn very carefully, and finally tells Winston that it is indeed a very rare Grecian Urn, and extremely valuable. Maybe thousands of pounds!

the urn is unwrapped and placed on the desk as the curator looks closely at it

the curator talks to winston

Good grief Winston’s fainted! He’s never had anything really valuable in stock before!

winston has fainted

Henry fetches him a reviving cup of tea, and says he can recommend a fine art auction house to handle the sale. What a turn up!

winston is revived with a cup of tea

the curator talks to winston

Bernard rocks!

Bernard has been hard at work, making himself a rock garden. He’s always out there raking the gravel to keep it tidy. So I took Alan out to see it. He said it was very pretty, which pleased Bernard.

Bernard was keen to show us that one of his plants is flowering, such lovely pink flowers!

Bernard, Ratvaark and Alan look at some pretty pink flowers on an alpine plant

Then I remembered that I’d found a very pretty green pebble when I went to the beach last week, so I went to fetch it.

Ratvaark shows Bernard a pale green pebble.

Bernard said it was most interesting, with a vein of quartz in it and he had just the spot to place it. I’m glad I picked it up!

Bernard places the pebble carefully in the gravel